my year in words
This past year has been the most challenging I have ever been hit with. You all know that already, If you know me at all..... How do I explain my current state? Why do I feel that I have to? My Mother's cancer diagnosis, the fear and helplessness, my manager in our building smoking meth regularly and the landlord smashing into my car and then attacking me physically, my Step Father's sudden decline and now process of dying... My fears of not being good enough are alive. My despair that reared up after the Portland Flamenco Festival Fiasco...after I was pegged as the "one" who was causing problems who then was subsequently pegged as the person who was "responsible" for all of my friends, including my teacher being kicked out of the festival. This event sent me to the hospital. I had a panic attack out of sheer pain. I considered suicide. My weaknesses were crushed by a circumstance that wasn't even based in reality. All because one woman decided I was som
